Q: To Albany with Love

I went home recently, back to NY, back to Albany a place where I managed to live, learn, love and eat. You can imagine that the buildup before the grueling 20hr drive alone and the stress of sticking with my healthy living while on the road. I stressed myself to the point I was having panic attacks about the thought of driving the long hours and buying something on the road. I set out on my journey at 1am with my water bottle, 2 granola bars and trail mix. I drove and drove and drove and stopped had a sit down breakfast at a waffle house in a small little town in which a baby was crawling on the counter and then headed back into the car. I drove for hours stopping for gas and once for subway when my hunger was strong I could not concentrate. Finally I arrived in New York City my home town I drove across the GW feeling a sense of calm yet knowing that I was a tourist in my hometown. I drove until I hit my mom's house hoping that food was waiting for me once I got in and of course like NYC parking was not in site. Finally after driving around the block for multiple times I found a spot got out and looked around for the first time. At that moment I knew I changed, I knew I was different because although I was pissed I had to drive to look for a spot I was happy that it was far away. Food was not cooked mom offered to go to the store, old me would have said "hell yeah" but new me said nope just some water and sleep.

The next morning I jumped back in my car this time with my dog and headed to Albany. I was ready feeling good, tired, hungry ready to see my people and discuss all that has happened. First thing I noticed when I parked was how grey everything was. You never realize how the color leaves the north with the coming of the winter and you find more people bracing against the cold rather than a smiling face. The hardest part about going home was not the bad food or bad habits I could reclaim but eating in general was the toughest. Eventually I met up with my friends and after two weak drinks I was drunk (very sad) and we walked to the best place in Albany, Bombers Burrito Bar. My order which I said man im not even going to think about calories etc. this was my day, I ordered loaded Nachos. Loaded nachos consist of Nachos, lettuce, salsa, your choice of chili (I had Texas chili) cheese, sour cream and guacamole. I ate it, although I had enough I ate it all and you know what I was sick. My body ached I felt like I was going to throw up, I felt weak and heavy, unable to move I left the party went in the back and fell asleep. There was no partying, no drinking and laughing and singing, just me and my two dogs on a futon in the back of my best buds house sleep hoping that the bubbling in my tummy would stop.

What I learned is that once you have changed your eating habits and incorporating certain things in your life its hard to shy away from it. Going home was great I missed and still miss my people, wish they would come down to Tampa for a few years but I am happy with being away from the Grey. The one thing I know for sure is that daily the sun will shine.