Q: Gym Etiquette 101

I just wanted to write a quick blurb about Gym Etiquette because I just about went Harlem on a woman at the gym.

1. First while using a machine please do not place you bag on the seat so that you can do Yoga stretches next to it for 3 minutes. Someone could do an entire set by the time you stretched your inner Yogi.

2. When you work out you sweat, if someone tells you otherwise they are not working out hard enough. With that said leaving a sweaty puddle of yourself on the workout bench or cardio machine is not cool.NOT COOL

3. This is a continuance of #2 if you know you have booty and coochy sweat and you leave a streak wipe it up people. Bring a towel, most gyms will sell you a towel hell if you see me at the gym ask me for an extra towel but whatever you do wipe it off.

4. Sauna, oh the Sauna how I love and hate thee. I just love walking in right after a tough workout dropping the water on the hot stones watching the steam roll up. I usually take the seat up top, steam rises, heart slows down. I usually sit and zone out, then it happens the door opens, a figure steps  up surrounded by light I cover my eyes and think to myself "please I hope its not her, anyone but her" and yup it was her. The 60 something year old who is always naked with 70's bush all over the place. Yes I said it 70's bush and she takes her spot right across from me and lays on her back. Now remember I'm up high and she is low and there it is a mountain full of tangled mangled pube hair surrounded by wrinkly skin. Argghhh people if you plan on being naked in the locker room good lord trim up, scissors are cheap, they sell razors for .50 I can tell you that my gay ass do not want to experience your unkempt glory. so number 4 please groom before you debloom your prized possesions, I'm just sayin.

5. Deodorant, enough said

6. Jocks, when using the machine and you are bench pressing 280lbs and you are done put the weights back on the rack. Im already working out, I'd rather not bust a sweat putting your weights back on the rack. Im just saying.

7. Share, everyone takes a break after a set someone else can jump in for a set don't worry your feelings wont get hurt and most likely will actually get a boost of confidence.

8. Wipe off the machines, had to save it again.

9. If you dont know how to use the machine ask for help don't make a bunch of noise trying to lift heavy weight or simply use the machine ask for help.

10. Please try to refrain from asking numerous questions 2min before the start of a class its rude and no one cares.


I'm just sayin'